sleepless

not really sleepless today but i was yesterday.. can u believe tis.. me sleepless.. sounds like not true huh but then i happens oni wen er.. my mind is unstable or uneasy abt sumthin.. well it has not been the 1st time it happen adi.. i mean recently tat is... haha.. u r probably thinkin hmm.. wat is wrong then.. haha.. well nothin much really.. juz tat it feels tat i am kind of stupid or pushy or er.. dunno also.. buggy.. persistant izit so.. dun think so man.. haha.. but seriously i was happy tat i was able to sleep today.. hehe.. sumthin to be thankfull.. well i guess if ther is anything wrong or u not happy wif sumwan.. sumtimes it is better to keep it to yurself! serious shit man.. y tell then ther other person like not happy ar.. so not happy then.. y bother talkin to me.. er.. i mean wat the fuck does tat mean.. i was tryin to be honest wat.. sigh.. honestly is a bullshit u know! nobody actually wan u to be honest at all but juz wan to hear nice things abt themselves.. yes.. it is a selfish world out ther.. haha.. then if u r honest they wud be like izit.. okie then i wud change or u dun like dun like la.. sigh.. how the world is.. seriously nothin is wat it seems to be anymore.. sigh.. n i think i did a record today again.. i didnt go out... wow.. sumthin to be proud of man.. haha.. if i dun go out again 2mrrw wow.. i think the world wud have gone hay wire! haha.. hmm.. i think i have been layin down on my bed for lots of hours adi.. kind of like pondering over stuff while merajukin like tat.. now wat is more worst than a guy who is merajukin.. haha.. lucky i am not.. i said kind of like.. but mostly was thinking abt lots of stuff.. n it does give a headache u know n those weird weird feelin u get.. n i seriously dunno y.. my head seems to spin! i am not drunk or wat rite.. y spinning man? hmm.. n ther was like tis qtion in my head it is like how come suddenly sumwan who do care for u well not really care la.. but does bother abt u le.. suddenly it is like u dun seem to matter to them anymore! i mean suddenly i was like nothin to tat person adi.. it really feels weird u know! mabbe ppl changes n things changes.. or mabbe it is not wat it is anymore.. er.. tis i seriously dunno cos i am not tat person rite.. well wat can i say... it is juz sad u know.. sigh.. dun think u know wat i mean also.. n was kind of frustrated n pissed today also cos i got scoldin for my grannie for nothing! i did wat she ask me too n ask her she said yeah.. then today she said no.. wat the hell??!?! sigh.. i dunno.. nothin seems to be smooth goin for me anymore.. er.. was it ever smooth goin ar? been hiding in my room quite a lot le nowadays.. i think serious shit of depression man.. haha.. then u know wat i heard if it goes on like tis u wud end up killin yurself! but then i aint so stupid to do so.. i think.. well ther is more to life then tis rite.. i hope i am rite.. still waitin to be loved wat! hmm... n if a person ask u to ignore them do they really mean it.. or wat.. i also dunno le... lots of shit goin thru my head now.. dun wanna think abt it anymore adi.. so wanna end now......