thinks u ponder about..

nothing much... just some comments about upper management that i heard which quite dun make sense to me or mabbe it is not gettin thru to me.. i really dunno i guess it is suppose to hint something to me because it was told me to.. hmm.. i guess there is more to learn then wat meets the eye.. but then i guess sometimes u really feel like you know a lot it is like the feelin you get yourself asking why the fuck cant he think like tat.. haha.. mabbe just sometimes or rarely.. but then i still have a long long way to go.. so i guess i should know more about things then just those i things i work on.. i wonder if you do really get what i mean... nothin much.. just things i keep pondering about often.. seriously i dunno why also.. i just feel do down and hardly anymore heart left in the my work anyways... i just feel like i have to go to work cos i need to not because i really have the heart.. dun feelin or whatsoever.. so unmotivated .. i wanna start somethin new.. i new challenges in life... in work.. i wanna know more.. i wan more.. i learn so much to be stuck just like that.. i am still young.. there so much more out there for me to know and see.. i want than just this.. i really want.. but the question now.. IS CAN I?? sigh...

watever will be will be

i dunno or really just give up sumtimes.. it is that hard or it is juz me.. sigh.. my luck havent been good since i came here.. or it is this place.. i really dunno... but it feel nice n homely.. so what can it be.. how now brown cow.. how can things be so bad yet so nice yet i fuckin dunno.. haha... truthly i wanna be happy or watsoever but just that i dunno how things are and it doesnt seem good i guess.. i need to get goin to be sumwer or sumone or .. or wat esle.. fucks... sigh... that is why... i just really dunno.. i really dunno.. n guess.. just let it be then....................